With great power comes great responsibility…

Growing up is a pain in the rear.

Whoever said it was fun and meant it was seriously deluded because there is nothing fun about added responsibilities, paying bills, and working 40-50 hours a week.

Ever since Mia was born, I’ve been working at a grocery store by my house as a cashier. I’ve known the store manager of the grocery store since I was about 11 because he used to be the store manager at my mom’s store (same chain store). In 2013, a store on the west side of town opened up and they offered him the manager position due to his years of experience and his success as a manager at my mom’s store. He took it and asked my mom and some of her co-workers if they’d want to come and work with him when he opened the new store. My mom wanted to but couldn’t due to the distance but told him I was looking for a job and so he offered me a part time position since he knew Mia was small and I didn’t want to work too many hours (so as not to be away from her too much).

I’ve been working there for almost three years (one year part-time and the last two years full-time) as well as finishing school to get my bachelor’s degree and I finally graduated this April. With only a July class to take, the hunt for a professional job was looming.

I started looking at potential places to apply a little after Mia’s birthday but I kept putting off the actually applying part because I hadn’t updated my resume. For almost 2 weeks I kept that excuse up and recent changes at my job had me feeling only more suffocated and miserable.

Have you ever taken a step back and looked in on your life and analyzed the decisions you’ve made and the decisions you keep making? I felt disappointed in myself for allowing myself to feel so helpless. I felt almost annoyed that I’d left myself feel so helpless. I decided right then that I would stop letting fate take the wheel. I decided right then and there that I’d take the wheel.

About two weeks ago I applied to a company I’d read about and encountered before after I saw that they were hiring. I was hoping I would get a callback but to be completely honest, I didn’t think I would get one.

I’ve always kind of struggled with self esteem issues but it’s something I’ve been trying to work on since having Mia because I don’t want any of my insecurities to rub off on her. It’s definitely hard though because I feel as if these issues have been ingrained in me for so long that sometimes I don’t notice myself succumbing to my inner demons. There’s something to be said for trying though.

Anyways, I received a callback two days after I applied and I was invited to an interview the following day. I was extremely nervous before my interview because I’d only ever had one job interview in my life and that had been over three years ago and it hadn’t gone well. That day I woke up extra early and made myself something to eat and plopped myself in front of my TV to watch an episode of Faking It -that cheesy MTV show about the high schoolers in Texas (MTV is kind of my guilty pleasure).  I had gone to Kohls the night before and picked out two potential outfits and tried them on that morning and opted on khaki dress slacks, a black button up and a simple white necklace. I curled my hair for the first time in a long time and got ready to make the 15 minute drive out to the location where the interview was to take place. I got there with about 20 minutes to spare and called my mom for a last minute pep talk. She didn’t disappoint.

The interview actually went pretty great. I left feeling pretty confident and I told myself that even if I didn’t get the job, I was proud of myself for putting myself out there and attempting to make a change in my life. I got a job offer the very next morning and accepted it that same day. Ecstatic didn’t even begin to describe how I felt when I opened that offer letter. It felt like I was finally winning.

Being an adult is hard. You are expected to have it somewhat together and have an idea of what you want to do in your life. If you want any semblance of a decent job you are expected to either be extremely talented or go to school to learn a trade or profession. You are expected to find a mate and get married and buy a house and have children (preferably in that order).

It’s hard.

Growing up is hard.

My first day is tomorrow and I am nervous, excited, happy, anxious… Most of all, I feel proud and accomplished because even if I don’t know what awaits me, I know that there is something to be said about taking the first step forward into taking control of your life. I shall let you guys know how my first day goes.

🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bye Bye Summer ’16

Mia had her third birthday August 4th.

I know that seems so long ago but we have been so busy these last couple of weeks that we haven’t had much time for anything.

  • Mia and I finally moved out of my  parents’ house and into our own little apartment in July. It’s been a busy month of changes and adjustments -and lots and lots of decorating. I have to say though, it feels liberating finally having our own space. I love my parents to death, but sharing the same space with them whilst trying to mother my then two-year-old was exhausting on so many levels. Boundaries were blurred and privacy was often a luxury.
  • I technically walked at my graduation on April 30th but still needed to take a July course to fulfill the remaining credits I had left to be considered “graduated” so July 27th was my last day of that class! I am just currently waiting for my diploma to be mailed to me but I can now say I am ALL done with undergrad! Now to plan my next move for next year…
  • I started a new part-time job interpreting at local hospitals and though it’s only about 5-10 hours a week, it’s also been kind of an adjustment for both Mia and I. I try to schedule my cases for early in the morning on my days off from my full-time job so that I can spend the rest of the day with her, but juggling so much at once is indeed a difficult task and one that I am still trying to get the hang of.

There’s so so much more that has gone on these last couple of weeks but it would honestly be overwhelming to go through it all.

Mia’s birthday was like a breath of fresh air.

She understood this year that it was her birthday and she was being upgraded from two fingers on her hand to three. She made sure to joyously proclaim her new three year old status to anyone within hearing range. All the cashiers at our local Target now know her name is Mia and she’s now “phfree” (LOL).

Seeing as I had more financial responsibilities this year I went a little more low-key on all aspects of her “party”- if we can even call it a party. It was honestly just my parents, sister, brother and grandmother and a 17$ Home themed cake from Sam’s Club and she couldn’t have been happier.

I love how grateful she always is for the simplest things. My mom and dad gave her skates, crayons, and a coloring book as presents and her reaction was the same for all three items: innocent, pure joy. Her eyes lit up and she hugged each item close to her as she unwrapped them and said “thank you!” in that adorable squeaky, high-pitched voice that I so love. To her, her 17$ cake this year was just as delicious as her 90$ fancy design cake was last year and I love how she seems to appreciate everything we do for her.

It makes me feel like I’m doing something right.

Here’s some picture of my beautiful darling to brighten up your night.

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School officially started last week so that signals the end of another summer. Another birthday. Another year. Next year she will be (maybe) starting school so I will spend the rest of this year cherishing the time I have with her before I have to share her with the world.

 

What Goes Around Comes Around

 

I remember a time far, far away in which I stayed up past midnight willingly and enjoyed it.

It was a magical time filled with idle chit chat with my college roommates, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix.

“The night is young!”

Oh, what a time to be alive. Newly eighteen and having only been away from home for a total of two weeks, I felt like such a badass going to bed way past the bedtime my parents had still been regularly enforcing upon me while I was still living at home.

Maybe it’s because I’m Mexican and maybe because I’m the first born and a woman, but my parents were always crazy strict with me up until I had my daughter. When I say crazy strict I absolutely mean it. If you don’t believe me let me follow up with some examples…


  • I was not allowed to paint my fingernails, toenails, face, or other visible (or non-visible) parts of my body. I remember one time when I was in 5th grade I had colored in my fingernails with my pencil at school and forgotten to wash my handiwork before I got home -much to my mother’s amusement and my father’s annoyance. Let’s not even get started on the times my middle school friends would draw doodles on my arms and hands with colorful sharpies and my dad would catch me vehemently trying to wash them off when I got home… “Your body is not a sketch pad! Do you need more journals? Stop writing on your arms dammit!”

  • I was not allowed to have sleepovers or attend sleepovers. Ever. Period. End of discussion.

  • In the event that I were to get invited to a party or any kind of outing at all, I was to give my parents at least a weeks notice before said event so they could “go over the pros and cons” and have enough time to think about it. Last minute ice cream invitation for Michelle? “Oh, don’t even bother inviting me, I already know I can’t go.”Needless to say, my friends were very familiar with this particular rule.

  • Absolutely, positively NO DATING until you are 18 (and even then it was an issue).

  • NO social media accounts. Like, at all.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I was sheltered, over-protected, locked away in a tower! Okay, so maybe that’s stretching it, but most days I definitely felt like a prisoner in my own home. Continue reading